LOVE
I led Fernando’s group in a one-day workshop on the Andean Spiritual Tradition. After the morning session, I went over to talk with Christer. Somehow our hands touched, each right on the other’s left. There was a strong current pulsing through us in a rapid circular motion. We looked into each other’s eyes saying nothing.
The workshop continued without any chance for us to process what happened until that evening when Christer approached me and asked, “What was that – the energy flowing through our hands this morning?” My heart started to pound as if it had just occurred to me that I was attracted to this tall gray-haired handsome Swede. “I don’t know”, I said, “but if you’d like to discuss it, come in.”
We talked with each other like old friends. The strength of our energy connection was matched by the connection of our personal interests, spiritual journeys and mutual attraction. Christer was a business consultant from Stockholm who was on a spiritual search, he told me, open to changing his life.
I had never met a man with whom I was so instantly comfortable. It was as if we had known each other all our lives. The conversation flowed and soon I was snuggled up under his arm. It felt so natural. No fear, no doubt, just delight. Before we knew it, it was 5:30am and time to say goodbye as his group departed at 6am for their train to Machu Picchu. Two days later we met in Cusco and leaving the group, he spent the rest of his week with me. In September I visited him in Stockholm for ten days. By the end of the year he moved to Peru to start a new life with me.
The week before Christer and his group arrived, some people who had studied with Alberto at The Four Winds Society, were staying at Paz y Luz and they told me about the Munay-Ki. Claudia gave me the Nine Rites without teaching them to me. I felt their energy pulsing in my body. Perhaps that was what enhanced the energy that flowed through our hands when Christer and I first touched. Maybe the Munay-Ki magic was already at work in my life.
Wake and Kinlen were staying at Paz y Luz the week after Claudia. Wake had taught the first Munay-Ki courses offered by Four Winds. He told me more about the Munay-Ki. I was particularly interested in learning to give the Lineage Rites, which are the traditional initiation rites of the Andean Spiritual Tradition.
I had received those rites from my teachers, Regis and Sergio who said that women could receive the rites but not give them to other people. This had never made sense to me. Wake told me both Don Francisco and his wife Juanita, a shamanic couple from the Q’eros, gave these rites. In fact, Juanita had learned the rites from her mother and grandmother. This confirmation that female Andean Shamans had been giving the rites for generations, made me confident it was time for me to learn how to give the rites as well.
Learning the Munay-Ki was the first step, so I could share the Rites with others. I asked my friend Jamee, who taught classes at Four Winds, to teach the Munay-Ki at Paz y Luz. I also invited Francisco and Juanita to share some rites in the traditional way. So between my visit to Stockholm and Christer moving to Pisac, I learned how to give all nine Munay-Ki Rites.
About that time, I received a letter from Sylvia in Bariloche, Argentina. She had bought my book in the Lima airport passing through Peru on a trip from Venezuela. She invited me to Bariloche to teach a workshop on the Andean tradition. A few weeks after Christer moved to Peru we left on a holiday together which started in Bariloche. I intended to give a few of the Rites during the two-day workshop but during our correspondence, Sylvia asked me if I would teach her and her friends all the Munay-Ki Rites. I agreed to add a third a day if she could get at least 6 people. There ended up being 27 people for the two-day workshop and 19 of them stayed to learn the Munay-Ki, 20 if you count Christer.
This is when I really began to feel the love frequency of the Munay-Ki in a whole different way. Giving the Rites to that many people in a row, I would go into an altered state as the energy of the Rites flowed through me into them. I could sometimes see past life connections with the recipient. Other times I would receive messages for them from Spirit. It was as if time/space barriers disappeared or were easily crossed.
When I learned the Rites from Jamee, I did not intend to teach them as the Munay-Ki. I just wanted to give the lineage Rites and teach the Andean Tradition as it was taught to me. But the Munay-Ki energy was moving in me in such a way that more invitations to teach them continued to come, until the energy of the rites themselves made me see this was my calling, the new focus of my work.
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Part of the Munay-Ki magic is also the opportunity to look at one’s shadow side so it can be cleared and transformed. My relationship with Christer in our first months together offered many opportunities for me to look at my shadow. Christer and I got along amazingly well in Bariloche during the Munay-Ki workshop and afterwards with some good friends of mine in Buenos Aires. Christer was so adaptable and easily able to socialize with people he hardly knew.
When we flew up to Florida to visit my parents, Christer charmed them immediately as if he had always been part of the family. So when we got to St. Lucia, an island paradise in the Caribbean where we rented a small cottage for a month, I was shocked to encounter a whole new side of Christer. When it was just the two of us alone together all manner of old wounds were being triggered without us knowing quite what we were triggering in the other or how to handle the response.
One day we decided to rent a car and explore the island. Christer chose to drive even though I was more familiar with driving on the left side of the road. That made me the navigator. As we left the small port town where we picked up the rental, I told him to turn left while following the map on my lap. He asked me again if I was sure and I insisted I was correct, pointing to the map as evidence. When we hit a dead end in a road where it was difficult for him to turn the car around, I realized I had the map upside down.
He was clearly angry but chose to go inside of himself instead of expressing his feelings verbally. My favorite way of solving problems is to discuss and identify the feelings that were triggered as to better understand how to avoid the same situation in the future. So Christer’s silent treatment both hurt and infuriated me. The worst part was I was stuck in the car with him for several hours with no relief from the tension I was feeling.
We eventually made it back to our end of the island and returned the car. It was February and near to Valentine’s Day. As we wandered silently around the town, I went into a jewelry shop where I’d hoped Christer would get the idea to buy something for me to express his love. Instead he went outside to wait for me. I reminded myself that I had called Christer into my life to heal my issues with love and commitment. I began to turn my focus from him and the “problem” to inside myself to locate the source of my own frustration.
I decided to buy myself the golden heart that I had hoped Christer would have chosen for me. I made a little pact with Spirit: if Christer noticed the heart I wore around my neck, it would be a good sign our relationship would work out. I wore it a few times without comment from Christer. Just as I was about to give up hope, we went on a sunset cruise for Valentine’s Day. As the sun was setting, sipping our complimentary rum punches, he smiled that sweet smile of his, with a sparkle in his eye and said, “What a beautiful heart you’re wearing. Is it new?” “Yes, my darling. It is a gift from you.” As I smiled back at him, I could feel my heart opening once again to the love flowing between us.
Back at Paz y Luz there were more adjustments to be made, to make my house ourhouse. Christer too had his struggles being far from home in a land whose language he didn’t speak, with no job, no friends, and none of his familiar comforts and customs. Things were not going as smoothly as we’d hoped.
In April 2008, when things were particularly tense between Christer and me, we hosted our second Gathering to Envision, Experience and Manifest the world the way we wanted it to be. Jamee, my Munay-Ki teacher and one of the participants, led us on a meditative journey to the Upper World, to envision the world the way we wanted it to be – first, on a personal level, then on a community level and finally our vision for the world. The first part of my meditation was clear and immediate: It was important for me to be part of a loving couple, to allow Christer into my heart fully, without guarding or protecting myself.
On a community level I saw the safe haven I was creating at Paz y Luz, where people could come to learn, grow, heal, transform, discover their true selves, open their hearts, to live free from fear. This was my vision for the world as well – a place free from fear, where all people live with open hearts, able to express their hurts safely and gently in order to clear them and heal them, not inflict more on others.
Coming out of the meditation, we were each given a piece of clay and invited to intuitively express our visions with the clay. I first molded some of my clay into the top part of a man and a woman connected at the base as well as the arms, U-shaped. Next I formed a flat container with small pieces of clay inside representing the people who come to Paz y Luz. Then I realized that the couple was part of the container so I attached them to the side. As I did so, I saw that the couple was also a model for the divine – male and female in perfect balance and union, watching over us all. The importance of me being a couple took on greater significance.
When everyone was finished, we came together in our circle to share our visions and clay pieces. Christer made a globe with an attached tower open at the top (like a vase), which he said was “United Vision”, akin to the UN only better. He had a flower bud at the opening in the top with fully bloomed flowers around the globe. These represented projects inspired by the upper world, coming to fruition through United Vision. His second clay piece was a man whose head was removed and replaced by a flower. His head was held in his arms close to his heart. Christer said that was him sitting in his office in the tower of United Vision where he worked more from his heart than his head.
On the last day of the Gathering we did a dance/meditation called Sounding. The music was an epic story of a warrior who came home resolute to “fight no more” and discover how to live from the heart. As I danced I went into a deep meditative state. I received two very clear messages. The first was, “My gentle heart will fight no more.” I realized in that moment that despite all my defenses, I do have a gentle heart and in order to live from it more fully, I need to let go of any form of fighting. The second message was even clearer than the first, “You need to marry Christer.”
Some people don’t hear messages easily and others don’t trust them when they do. But I have been receiving messages (mostly during meditations, ceremonies and healing sessions) for more than 20 years. I have gotten pretty good at deciphering what is my own mind-chatter and what is a spirit-given message. Both messages I received that morning were strong and clear and nothing my own mind had been considering.
Our next activity was both illuminating and affirming. Jamee led us in creating a sacred geometry mandala for manifesting our visions. The principle is simple: with intention and clarity, what we form in our mind, we begin to create in material reality – the art of magic. First in meditation and then on paper with markers and paint, we chose our symbol and invited Spirit to help us work to manifest our vision.
My symbol was two even-sided triangles connected with their points in the center. This hourglass symbol had been given to me in a meditation in 2001. I was told it was “heaven and earth”. Inside the bottom triangle I put Paz y Luz, healing, conferences and the United Vision “Heartquarters”. Below that triangle, I put a man and a woman with their outstretched arms touching – Female-Male Union.
On the right side of the double triangle symbol, I painted the Rainbow Bridge, connecting heaven and earth. On the left side, I painted a soft vibrant pink orange heart and wrote around it, “My gentle heart will fight no more.” Where the two points of the triangles connected in the center, I wrote the word TRUST. The tower of United Vision extended into the base of the upper triangle, with its flower bud falling down from heaven and blossoming below. In the “heaven” triangle I put my guides and spirit energy. Above that triangle at the top was another couple, arms connected, and I wrote Divine Feminine/ Masculine Creator.
Jamee had laid out a few decks of cards used for guidance and divination. One deck had symbols with sayings. The one I picked said, “I choose to experience heaven on earth”, which I wrote on the bottom of the paper. I was stunned at how perfect it was for what I had already drawn – earth reflecting heaven. Then I pulled an Avalon Wisdom card – Partnership! “Seek connection in all things. This is a coming together of ideas, the marriage between two people, the harmonious blending of energies. It’s a portent of opportunity, where partnership exceeds the potential of the individual.”
“Partnership exceeds the potential of the individual.” This is why it was important for my work to be a couple, a partner with Christer. The vision and messages were coming together. The work of United Vision required both of us with all our differences and commonalities, Christer and me, female and male union. I was now understanding the connection between the personal and the collective in a more significant way. And the importance of making a commitment.
We were then invited to launch our visions through a story. Val, my storyteller friend, guided us in the creation of our once-upon-a-time story told from a future perspective about a time before the new world came into being and how it had happened. Mine went like this:
Once upon a time there was a man and a woman who lived on earth in different corners of the world. Before they came to earth, they lived on the same star where they made a contract to meet when they knew the moment was right on earth to change the world.
Many years passed on earth and they experienced so much life they nearly forgot their promise. But one day, while the man and the woman were sleeping in their own corners of the world, the Star-Giver blessed them with a Star-kiss that helped them remember their soul contract.
In his dream the man saw a beacon of light from the high Andes Mountains in Peru. He packed his bags and journeyed to a small town along the river in the Sacred Valley not knowing the woman would be there. But because she too had been kissed by the Star-Giver, she remembered her promise and was awaiting his arrival. When they saw each other, their hands touched and their hearts remembered everything.
And so began their challenge to change the world.
The first world they needed to change was their own because they had become very set in their earthly ways, each having their own manner of managing their lives. His corner of the world was urban, neat and orderly. Her corner was mountainous, mystical and a bit chaotic. They had to adapt, release, heal and transform in order to see the other with eyes of love.
Then they gathered together with friends who had traveled from near and far to help them envision a new world. They sat around the fire and dreamed their world into being by removing their heads and placing them on their hearts. It was then that the Star-Giver again came down from heaven and opened their hearts to envision a world where people lived in Trust instead of the Fear they’d always known. The man and the woman were very happy that their soul contract was now being fulfilled.
Because the man and the woman had learned how to come together in the balanced union of Love and Light, they reflected the perfect union of male and female in the divine creator. They were able to experience heaven on earth and they lived happily ever after.
When the Gathering was over, I had quieted my logical practical mind enough to know from a very deep place within myself that I would marry Christer if he wanted to do so.
Before the workshop Christer went to Puno where he met a friend of mine who recommended he visit a psychic in Cusco named Elena. She doesn’t speak English so he asked me to come along to translate for him. Christer was interested in finding out more about his spiritual path. Soon after the session began, Elena turned from Christer to me and said, “You two are thinking about getting married, aren’t you?” I was a bit surprised because of everything that had happened for me during the workshop but I wasn’t so sure Christer would have agreed with that statement.
She continued, “You should get married. It is important that you honor your commitment to each other in this way. You have a golden thread that is connecting your hearts. You would have met each other even if he lived in China. You have a destiny together. June would be a good month. I know it is soon but there is no reason for you to delay.” Again I was surprised because soon after Christer and I met, I had a meditation where I saw us getting married in New York in June on my parents’ 60 th wedding anniversary. I knew Christer thought that was too soon so I was a bit embarrassed to translate what she said because I didn’t want to put any pressure on him. He said he would think about it.
He was leaving for Sweden in two weeks and I would meet him there three weeks later to teach the Munay-Ki and visit with his family. Then we would fly to New York together to celebrate my parent’s 60 th wedding anniversary at a weekend family reunion before returning to Peru.
While he was in Sweden before I arrived, he called me and said let’s get married in New York. He was ready. We both understood we had been brought together for an important purpose. Marriage would create the container that allowed our love to heal personal wounds. With this deep soul connection guiding us into partnership, we hoped the work of United Vision would blossom into its fullness.
We were married on June 26th, 2008, my parents’ anniversary, just as I had seen it in my meditation. At the ceremony, Val told my Once-Upon-A- Time story. It was a magical day, celebrating love. It was also exactly one year since I first received the Munay-Ki Rites.