Last week I was interviewed by a friend quoting an article I wrote in 2012 soon after my husband died, called “Seeing Challenges as Opportunities”. In the article I listed three prerequisites to discovering the opportunities:
1.Heal your wounds, release your shit
2. Open your heart
3.Accept what is
Fast forward to 2020 and the response around the globe to the Coronavirus, closing borders and other restrictions. I’m in Jupiter, FL at my brother’s house which was meant to be a two day visit to see my 98 year old mom in her assisted living facility before flying to California for a family wedding. The day before I arrived, the assisted living facility was closed to visitors, a day after I arrived, the wedding was cancelled.
It’s now day 16 and Peru has announced another extension to the quarantine. My flight was cancelled, unable to reschedule.
I didn’t think I had much “old shit” to release but this morning after dropping some supplies to my mother, unable to see her, something opened inside and I sobbed and sobbed. My heart opened.
Later back at the house, when I tearfully asked my brother if he was OK about me staying on for some unknown amount of time, he said, “Of course, why wouldn’t I be? Wouldn’t you do the same for us if the situation was reversed?” Yes, I would. So why is it so hard for me to receive their hospitality, their unconditional support?
I rode my brother’s bike to the beach (closed, but in view), reflecting on that question. Maybe I’ve felt so “outside” my family most of my life that it’s hard for me to believe I’m so welcomed.
But here I am, in Jupiter, FL, unable to go home for the time being. I’m willing to take my own advice. With my heart open, I accept what is.
March 31, 2020