How am I today? I’m not sure because many feelings are jumbled together. Still accepting what is, but also still questioning, more than curious. So I got on the bike and started pedalling. With the Beach Inlet Colony now closed, I explored a small park on the Inland Waterway with a bike path. It’s technically closed, like all public parks here but not roped off. Tide is low so a few people are fishing from the sandbar, knee deep in the water. Is that allowed? Hard to say…
My mom is in the hospital. She fell yesterday in her apartment, hitting her head. The assisted living facility called an ambulance according to their policy. At the ER, they did a CT-scan, revealing there was no concussion. We thought she would be returned home. Every few hours my brother called to find out when. They decided to take a chest x-ray and discovered a “mild” case of pneumonia so they admitted her without calling my brother (her medical proxy). When he called the ER, they said they were testing her for COVID19 which means she now has to stay in the hospital until they get the results (3 days?)
We can’t see her or speak with her. Mom is two months shy of 99 years old and has lost her ability to speak coherently. She can’t make her own questions understood. She’s by herself in a place she doesn’t know, cared for by people wearing hazmat suits.
I called the nurse and asked if she was able to explain to our mother what was happening, why she was there and why we weren’t. “Do you think she understands?” Very kindly and regretfully she answered, “No.” Are these restrictions good for her health? For mine? For us?
She has been in isolation for three weeks prior to this in her apartment with a caregiver she knows very well. Now she’s with Kim, the compassionate nurse whose only visible human parts are her eyes. I asked Kim to use our names when she speaks to mom, “Dennis, your son, Diane, your daughter, are here checking on you, but not allowed to see you.” I hope she understands. Because I’m not sure I do.
April 4, 2020