Disagreement – that’s what’s on my mind today. Not related to my brother who I quite remarkably haven’t had a disagreement with in the five weeks and two days I have been staying in his house.
The disagreements have been with two dear friends of mine. We see life a little differently at the moment in relation to finding meaning in our current situations. Not to say we have always been like-minded on everything, but I’m wondering why today I find our disagreements more troubling.
Maybe it’s because now the stakes seem higher. With such uncertainty in our world, certainty in close relationships seems to matter more. Without close friends to understand us, how do we understand ourselves? I do have confidence we will make our way back to each other but like so much at the moment, it’s not quite clear what that will look like.
I asked my friend if it was possible for us to agree to disagree without having to make each other wrong. That question for me goes beyond the personal, to the world at large. Is it possible for us to live together with one another without needing to make the ‘other’ wrong? Do we need to be right to feel safe? For me to feel OK, does it mean that you won’t be?
Compliance – or lack there of – to what governments around the world are insisting their citizens do, depends on what we consider to be safe and reasonable. If we are confident our government and its advisors have our best interests at heart, then disagreement is less likely. We trust we are being taken care of and do what they want us to.
But history and many people’s personal experience has shown that is not always the case – Jews in Nazi Germany, Balck South Africans under apartheid, free thinking writers under McCarthyism – all who suffered under government dictates carried out by ordinary citizens who believed those policies were protecting them from imminent danger.
There are some life threatening things going on at the moment of which Covid 19 may be only one. I doubt our best way forward is thinking we know who is right and who is wrong – for my friendships or for humanity. I want to envision something new where consensus is valued, even though I can’t yet see it clearly.
When I got back home, I spoke to a woman working at our retreat center in Pisac. I met her only briefly before I left on this extended trip. She told me she feels the beautiful energy there and wanted to talk with the one who created such a special place.
She shared with me her ideas for a small intentional community housed there while we wait for the borders to reopen – a community where each one offers their own skills and passion to the group. “We can work in the garden to grow food that we prepare and eat together. We can work toward sustainability where nothing goes to waste. We can offer healing and be healed ourselves in the process.”
I was touched and inspired by her and the other 30-somethings now running the center. They aren’t lamenting all the cancellations or worrying about what will happen next. They are dreaming the future into being, right there, right now.
I thanked her for contacting me and for her visionary hope. I gave them my approval and encouragement. No disagreement from me, only a great deal of gratitude for reminding me of what brought me to Peru in the first place.
April 22, 2020