There’s been an interesting development today. I made contact finally with the Peruvian Consulate in Miami. Not live contact, but I received a response to my email enquiry with another email address to register for repatriation flights. It had the cost of the flight and how much luggage you could bring – much more specific info than the previous registration form. Still nothing about the timing or if I can get all the way home to Pisac. I’m awaiting their response.
I had to laugh at myself because I had gotten used to the idea of being here a while longer only to be jogged by another reminder not to get comfortable with any status quo.
Schwinn and I got off the internet and onto the familiar route back to the Inlet Colony where I could lie down on some shadely sand this side of the “beach closed” sign. I wanted to release any anxiety that had arisen unbidden. At first thoughts flooded in from my analytical mind – I’d like to be home but not in a Lima hotel room by myself for 14 days. I’d like to be home but I’d also like to leave again when I feel the desire. I’d like visitors to come and go as they please. If I’m given the possibility to go back to Peru, I’d like to know my options.
Lying on Pachamama listening to the surf quietly lap the shore, all four elements brought me slowly back to my center. As I floated into another dimension, an image from a dream I had last night resurfaced: Christer came up behind me, surprising me with a big bear hug. I laughed with delight, telling our friends who were there with us how much I loved that about my husband. In the dream he was alive and we were still together.
It would have been 13 years by now. How would it have been if he had lived? What would he think about COVID 19 and all the changes it has brought almost overnight? If he was with me now, would he want to go back to Peru? To Sweden? To stay here? Not much point in wondering such things. In most ways, today is no different than yesterday. The sea is calmer, the wind is stronger, the sky a pale blue.
Being comfortable with the unknown is a practice, an art, a dance that I haven’t yet totally befriended. Every day is a new adventure. I’m here. I’m willing. I’m able. I’m practicing. And the music plays on.
April 15, 2020